PARKER

I have to admit I was very excited  to see "Parker" coming to the screen. Jason Statham is an actor who essentially plays the same character in all of his films, but he plays that one character well. Then seeing that Taylor Hackford ("Ray", "Proof of Life") was directing my excitement mounted. Then seeing Nick Nolte and Clifton Collins Jr.'s name attached cemented my excitement. How could they go wrong? 

 Then the trailer debuted...

All hope was lost. Statham as an hardened English criminal wearing cowboy boots and a matching accent? Lame.

When a trailer for a film is bad something is wrong. With slick editing and catchy music just about any film can be cut into a decent trailer. How in the hell did they make "Parker" seem so uninteresting? The character of Parker from the books is a hardened criminal. He isn't exactly nice, and while the books are fun reads they aren't exactly uplifting. A witty crime caper with action star Statham in a cowboy hat? No thanks. Ultimately this led me to avoid seeing the film in theaters, and catching it on DVD. 

While probably best that I didn't take out a second mortgage to see this in theaters, it actually turned out to be a well made albeit forgettable film. What hurts the film the most is how jumpy it is. And long. "Parker" is not nearly the fun crime film that the trailer made it out to be, but it's not the hardened criminal getting revenge film it should be either. Given Taylor Hackford's track record I was surprised at how bipolar "Parker" could be at some times. 

As far as the cast is concerned, they do what they can. Statham plays Statham as Parker, which isn't a bad thing. The man has charisma and charm but this isn't a stretch for him. Nick Nolte, Michael Chiklis, and Clifton Collins Jr show up and collect a paycheck. While she takes a lot of shit in the media Jennifer Lopez usually is decent and is no exception here. To be honest she is the most interesting character in the film. 

While it meanders all over the place, "Parker" isn't bad, but it isn't good. Other than one spectacularly brutal fight scene with an underused Daniel Bernhardt (Bloodsport III) "Parker" provides very little in the way of true action. "Parker" is simply light entertainment.

THE EVIL DEAD - 2013

     THE EVIL DEAD remake kicks ass. Plain and simple. For me the concern was never whether it would be a good film as Sam Raimi would be heavily involved in the re-imagining of his horror classic, but how good.

     How good is it?

     Really fucking good.

   There is no reason to go into great detail about the original film, as every horror fan I know hold the original EVIL DEAD in high regard. People were pissed off upon hearing the remake was finally greenlit, but upon hearing that Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell would be heavily involved they calmed down. Everyone was very happy to also hear there would be no Ash in the new one. After all, how could there be? There is only one Bruce Campbell.

Somebody else re-imagining Ash? Ha!

     Story wise, it isn't much different from the original one as a group of friends head to a cabin in the woods and start getting killed off by a demon who possesses them. I give the new writers Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues credit for tweaking the story a bit as our new soon-to-be-slaughtered crew are going there for an intervention. It ends up working as it gives some strength to the crazy shit happening around them, but eventually everything goes into full on scare mode.
     Hands down this is arguably the goriest film I have seen in theaters. Supposedly cut for an R-rating, EVIL DEAD 2013 is anything but censored. Ferocious is the word to use as the friends die in some of the most gruesome ways imaginable. Prosthetic make up designer Roger Murray and his crew deserve almost as much credit as anyone, as his handiwork will probably be the most talked 'parts' of the film. When the violence hits it hits hard!

   
There isn't much more to say about EVIL DEAD 2013. It's a well made balls to the wall horror film that stands on it own. Does it match the original? No, but hopefuly it will introduce new fans to the series. It also gives hope to us horror fans that a remake can actually not suck balls.

THE MARINE 3: HOMEFRONT

Upon walking into Best Buy a few days ago I noticed there was apparently a third MARINE movie from WWE. I haven't watched wrestlin' for quite some time and I had no idea who the hell was on the front cover. When I turned the blu-ray box over I could have died...Scott Wiper was director. This might not mean anything to most people, but Wiper wrote, directed, and stared in what I consider to be a criminally underrated movie from 2000 called A BETTER WAY TO DIE. His output basically ceased until 2007 when he directed WWE superstar Steve Austin in THE CONDEMNED.



And then he disappeared again. While I don't know if this is due to underwhelming box office returns or not, Wiper is a man who needs to be behind the camera more.

THE MARINE 3 stars Mike "The Miz" Mizanin as, you guessed it, a Marine. He's on a two week leave and decides to visit come home and visit his sisters. When a terrorist(Neal McDonough) kidnaps his younger sister, Uber-Marine springs into action to save the day.

What Neal NcDonough really thinks about  THE LAST EXORCISM.

If you can get past how generic this series of films are, HOMEFRONT is a damn good film. Actually it is way better than it should be. The cast and crew seemingly forgot they were doing the third film in a direct to video series, and made something that is on par with the original. Given they didn't have to aim high, but the film delivers more in the acting department than what it should. Neal McDonough can do no wrong, and surprisingly "The Miz" is pretty damned good. What I didn't understand is not utilizing the always reliable Darren Shahlavi, but I'll take what I can get. 

Most importantly the action delivers. The boat raid is the highlight with a team of FBI agents getting mowed down by McDonough's militia. The Miz also gets to show his on screen fighting skills by going one on one with Shalavi. More action would have been appreciated, but instead of loading up the film with mediocre fights and gun play  Wiper and co-writer Declan O'Brien go for quality over quantity.

While HOMEFRONT isn't Wiper's best, it is a good flick. The story keeps you interested, mostly in part to the great cast. When the action does kick in, it is top notch, especially for a film with such a low budget. Entertain is the name of the game and THE MARINE 3 does just that. 

WONDER WOMAN PITCH REEL

Action-maestro Jesse V. Johnson (CHARLIE VALENTINE, THE PACKAGE) appears to have decided that he should be the man to direct a big budget WONDER WOMAN film...And from the look of this trailer I agree! Consistent with his feature length films, this trailer contains all the gritty action one expects from a Jesse Johnson film. The only difference is Nina Bergman is much nicer to look at than Steve Austin and Dolph Lundgren.

In two minutes you can get your daily dose of ass-kicking and a grizzled Peter Stomare! Enjoy.

Female Super Hero Fan Film from Jesse V. Johnson on Vimeo.

EL GRINGO

   

     EL GRINGO stars soon-to-be action legend Scott Adkins as a man with no name who rolls into a small Mexican town across with the New Mexico border. He carries a large bag of money. You know where this is going? Of course you do. Action legend plus a bag of drug money equals violence.
     While short on thought production, EL GRINGO delivers a fun ride with Adkins. Unlike certain action stars of the past, he seems to have some real acting chops to go along with the impressive fight skills we've seen in the UNDISPUTED sequels and EXPENDABLES 2. While his screen fighting skills can be seen for a quick clip here they aren't on full display here as GRINGO is a movie about guns. Action fans shouldn't be alarmed if they were expecting some serious ass kicking from Adkins as he and director Eduardo Rodriguez bring some real panache to the gun fights.

 Featuring some of the wettest squibs this side of Verhoeven Adkins blasts his way through cartel henchman with reckless abandon. The gun fights are the real highlight of the film, as it obvious the stunt team took real care to choreograph the gun fights. That's not to say GRINGO doesn't stumble at times though.


     Action films need a good bad guy and sadly this is an area where Gringo slips up. A corrupt Sheriff is the main villain, but sadly does very little. He spends more time shooting at stray dogs that sending his white skull faced cartel gang out to do any dirty work. Played more for laughs, the Sheriff isn't imposing enough and elicits very little fear from anyone it seems.  A little sadism would go a long way.
     Another problem I had is the lack of Christian Slater screen time. He's always been a solid actor and he brings a fine performance to such a small character in GRINGO.
Besides Adkins and Slater bringing their A-game, Yvette Yates brings the hot Mexican love interest to Adkins man with no name. With non-stop glistening cleavage it may be hard for some to recognize a good performance from her, but sadly like Slater she needed more screen time. And lastly, the ending was a let down. A final bullet ridden shootout is what was needed and it was no where to be found.
     EL GRINGO is bloody with some great action. Even when it stumbles, it isn't enough to take away from a fun ride as director Eduardo Rodrigiuez keeps his foot on the petal the whole time. This is definitely a winner for the After Dark Films Action team.
   

TOTAL RECALL 2012

   

    Letdown. A giant damned letdown. That's really all that can be said of the Len Wiseman directed mega-budget remake of the Schwarzenegger classic TOTAL RECALL. The story is essentially the same. Douglas Quaid goes to Recall, a place where they can implement a fantasy into your memory. Quaid, bored with how his life has turned out, decides secret agent is the way to go. As it turns out though, he actually is a secret agent who has had his memory erased. Maybe.
   

    Before going any further I will say Colin Farrell and the rest of the cast bring a lot of talent and respectability to the film. If it weren't for Farrell being awesome as always and Beckinsdale having a blast as one of the villains, I would have turned the DVD off.  Besides the stellar casting the other thing RECALL gets right is production design. Patrick Tatopoulos does a fabulous job with the landscape of the film. With a budget around 100 million, he had plenty to work with but none-the-less he always impresses.
     What hurts the film is boredom. For a film loaded with chases and shootouts, the film is just flat out tedious to sit through at times. I put that blames on the film's director, Len Wiseman. Why full blame you ask? Well, I have never sat through any of his films without feeling the exact same way. The man's going style out the ass, but his pacing is trite. Whether is be the first two UNDERWORLD films or the completely god-awful LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, Wiseman's style is that of Stephen Sommers without any sense of fun. The irony of course is Wiseman's next picture is supposedly of a reboot of THE MUMMY, which Sommer's directed.
     TOTAL RECALL is a waste of talent, pure and simple.

LAWLESS

     

     What I can assume to be loosley based on a true story, Lawless tells the story of the Bondurnant brother's exploits during the prohibition in Frankilin County West Virginia. Jack, Howard, and Forrest Bondurant are bootleggers. The best in Franklin County. Even the police in the area know the score and let the brothers operate. Like all good things it comes to and trouble begins when corrupt Commonwealth Attorney Mason Wardell  brings in special deputy Charlie Rakes to get the moonshine business under control.
     Although seemingly a gangster film, Lawless' story isn't just a violent shoot em up. The Bondurant's are a tight knit group of brothers and it is their relationship that holds the story together. What could have become a period piece gangster film filled with tommy guns spraying, Director John Hillcoat tries to bring some humanity to the Brothers Bondurant. The love story elements that Hillcoat and writer Nick Cave put in place are secondary to the bond the brothers share. You really feel that Forrest and Howard are looking out for their younger and impressionable little brother Jack by trying to push him away from what they do.
     Technically the film looks fantastic. Hillcoat's films are never flashy and Lawless is no different. For a film about gangsters Hillcoat keeps the tommy gun mayhem to one small scene. The rest of the violence up until the end of the movie is blunt and to the point. Violence in Lawless is fast and grotesque, much like Hillcoat's first feature, The Proposition. Nick Cave's screenplay moves briskly with no wasted dialogue.   
     While Shia Lebouf gets top billing in Lawless it's Tom Hardy and Guy Pierce who steal the show. It really isn't Lebouf's fault. He's a kid star with name power put into a room with real actors. You never doubt for a second that Guy Pierce is Charlie "fuckin" Rakes. You never doubt for a second that Tom Hardy is Forrest Bondurant. Similar to Leonardo DiCaprio in Gangs of New York, Lebeouf just can't hold his own in the ring with the other cast members. At least not yet.
     Lawless is a fine film. While Lebouf's Jack brings the film a bit, the rest of the cast and crew are in top form. The biggest flaw is that there are some story elements that are almost unnecessary. Gary Oldman is wasted as gangster Floyd Banner. But some Oldman in any film is better than no Oldman at all.