THE GUNMAN

Excited. That's what I was. The director of Taken putting one of greatest actors of his generation in an action film? With Idris Elba and fucking Ray Winstone! What could be better than that?

Everything apparently. Well, that's too harsh. What should be ex-assassin turns back into killing machine turns into a few good action scenes with a lot of sappy bullshit in between.

While Sean Penn on-screen as Terrier makes The Gunman watchable, I have a strong feeling off-screen Sean Penn as writer/producer is what makes The Gunman boring as hell for much of its run time. Penn has never hidden his humanitarian nature, and there is nothing wrong with that. He is in a position to influence and help people less fortunate and I am all for that. While I have never read the book the film is based on it seems as if Penn and company are trying to get a message across about how people value money and power over human life. No shit. Chalk it up to human nature and lets move on. Instead The Gunman gets caught up in that message, and honestly I really didn't care.

It is a damn shame Director Pierre Morel didn't put his foot down and go the Taken route. Let the middle aged ass kicker do some ass kicking. Penn looks the part. While he seems to take care of himself in real life, besides the pack a day habit, Penn seems to have added a little muscle and trimmed down to look the part of an assassin. Watching the action scenes you couldn't tell the man is 54 years old.

Everyone else does a good job with what they are given, which isn't much. Elba and Winstone are always bring an air of class to a film and this is no different. They just are stuck with throw a way parts. Javier Bardem was a bit all over the place. Honestly all I could think of was Javier Bardem playing Nicolas Cage as a character in this. It was strange to say the least, but with a film that drags like this it was a nice change of pace from the boredom.

The Gunman isn't a bad film it is just mediocrity spread thick on a television screen. It could have been so much more than what it is. The little bit of action, especially the brutal knife fight, is well staged and exciting. But ultimately The Gunman is a wanna-be political message with some action in it as opposed to a full blown action film (which it should be). And as either one of those it's simply a time waster.

Pretty much how I felt while watching The Gunman. 

THE BEAUTIFUL ONES

What we have here is a modern day retelling of Romeo and Juliet, just with L.A. gangsters. Trancredi (Ross McCall) gets told by his Aunt (Julie Warner) to get close to a rival ganster's daughter (Fernanda Andrade). Obviously things don't go as planned and we end up with feuding 'families.' Throwing gas to the fire is Casper (Brian Tee) who seems to have some bad history with Trancredi.

I am a firm believer that at this point in time that there are very few truly 'original' stories. What makes stories great, whether it be on screen or written is how they are told. All of the films that Johnson has written bring to mind something 'classical.' He likes to pay homage without ripping off and it is refreshing in this day and age. All of the characters seem to be transplanted from a late 60's to early 70's film, but none of them play it as a character from a specific film. Trancredi for instance loves Steve McQueen. He even purchases a pair of the classic Persol 714 McQueen wore on screen. Even with the McQueen love, you never once feel Trancredi is written as McQueen, nor is Ross McCall trying to play Mcqueen. He's just a cool guy, played by a great actor.

The rest of the cast is excellent as well. I've loved Julie Warner since "Tommy Boy" and Ed Lauter (in his final role) can do wrong. Eric Roberts is always a joy to watch. Brian Tee is becoming someone exciting to watch as well.

As far as action goes, "The Beautiful Ones" action has more to do with straight up violence and consequence rather than looking 'cool.' Don't get me wrong, what Johnson and stunt coordinator Luke LaFontaine crafted for the gun and knife battles are fantastic, but don't go in expecting non-stop gun play. Instead look for something more old school and  real with squibs and blood as opposed to CG bullshit. You might wait for it, but when it hits it hits hard.

It should be said that "The Beautiful Ones" is a different kind of gangster film. Art-house gangster maybe? While that definition leaves much to be desired "The Beautiful Ones" really doesn't fall into your normal gangster category but that probably has to do more with the film feeling quite a bit more personal than the norm. And that is something that has been lacking in most of the films I watch now.

Check it out when it gets a wide release. Until then, here is the trailer.

NO ONE LIVES

Synopsis: Criminal rednecks fuck with the wrong guy.

Done.

While not original in the least, "No One Lives" proves to be a successful mishmash of horror level scenes of wet gore and the usual stylish action of Ryuhei Kitamura. While it starts a bit awkward and slow, the film kicks into high gear and really never slows down.

Luke Evans has never came across as the ass-kicking type but he is pitch perfect here. While unassuming at first glance, Evan's Driver turns out to be one cold sadistic son-of-a-bitch. If there is one problem with the film it is that you never feel that Driver is in any danger. Even when he's tied up to a fucking chair in a desolate gas station you aren't biting your nails waiting to see if Driver will make it. You just want him to hurry up and lose his shit so carnage can ensue.

And ensue it does. Basically what we have is a  cousin to "The Collection." Bodies are sliced, diced, and shot with most of them ending up in a bloody mess. The top notch make up effects from Almost Human/Robert Hall are worth the price of a rental if you are a fan of practical effects. That's right, corn syrup and latex. I'm sure there were a few CG 'enhancements' but most of the on-screen kills are done old school.

Simple and the point, Kitamura's "No One Lives" is a fun action-gore hybrid.

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD

                             Even with the maga-paycheck, Bruce is having to force a smile.

Director John Moore certainly can put together some impressive scenes of destruction. But that's about all "A Good Day to Die Hard" has going for it. The heart of the film is the Big McLane/Little McLane relationship and I was thoroughly uninterested in it the entire running time. Not to mention the villains are flat out boring which is a shame as one would hope the writers would have learned to not screw up what made the first three "Die Hard" films, along with most memorable action films, enjoyable.

If you have a large home theater system this is probably worth a watch just to hear shit explode and get crushed. While not the catastrophe that is "Live Free or Die Hard" it is still pretty fucking bad. Skip it, and watch Die Hard in the White House....I mean "Olympus Has Fallen."

PARKER

I have to admit I was very excited  to see "Parker" coming to the screen. Jason Statham is an actor who essentially plays the same character in all of his films, but he plays that one character well. Then seeing that Taylor Hackford ("Ray", "Proof of Life") was directing my excitement mounted. Then seeing Nick Nolte and Clifton Collins Jr.'s name attached cemented my excitement. How could they go wrong? 

 Then the trailer debuted...

All hope was lost. Statham as an hardened English criminal wearing cowboy boots and a matching accent? Lame.

When a trailer for a film is bad something is wrong. With slick editing and catchy music just about any film can be cut into a decent trailer. How in the hell did they make "Parker" seem so uninteresting? The character of Parker from the books is a hardened criminal. He isn't exactly nice, and while the books are fun reads they aren't exactly uplifting. A witty crime caper with action star Statham in a cowboy hat? No thanks. Ultimately this led me to avoid seeing the film in theaters, and catching it on DVD. 

While probably best that I didn't take out a second mortgage to see this in theaters, it actually turned out to be a well made albeit forgettable film. What hurts the film the most is how jumpy it is. And long. "Parker" is not nearly the fun crime film that the trailer made it out to be, but it's not the hardened criminal getting revenge film it should be either. Given Taylor Hackford's track record I was surprised at how bipolar "Parker" could be at some times. 

As far as the cast is concerned, they do what they can. Statham plays Statham as Parker, which isn't a bad thing. The man has charisma and charm but this isn't a stretch for him. Nick Nolte, Michael Chiklis, and Clifton Collins Jr show up and collect a paycheck. While she takes a lot of shit in the media Jennifer Lopez usually is decent and is no exception here. To be honest she is the most interesting character in the film. 

While it meanders all over the place, "Parker" isn't bad, but it isn't good. Other than one spectacularly brutal fight scene with an underused Daniel Bernhardt (Bloodsport III) "Parker" provides very little in the way of true action. "Parker" is simply light entertainment.

THE EVIL DEAD - 2013

     THE EVIL DEAD remake kicks ass. Plain and simple. For me the concern was never whether it would be a good film as Sam Raimi would be heavily involved in the re-imagining of his horror classic, but how good.

     How good is it?

     Really fucking good.

   There is no reason to go into great detail about the original film, as every horror fan I know hold the original EVIL DEAD in high regard. People were pissed off upon hearing the remake was finally greenlit, but upon hearing that Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell would be heavily involved they calmed down. Everyone was very happy to also hear there would be no Ash in the new one. After all, how could there be? There is only one Bruce Campbell.

Somebody else re-imagining Ash? Ha!

     Story wise, it isn't much different from the original one as a group of friends head to a cabin in the woods and start getting killed off by a demon who possesses them. I give the new writers Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues credit for tweaking the story a bit as our new soon-to-be-slaughtered crew are going there for an intervention. It ends up working as it gives some strength to the crazy shit happening around them, but eventually everything goes into full on scare mode.
     Hands down this is arguably the goriest film I have seen in theaters. Supposedly cut for an R-rating, EVIL DEAD 2013 is anything but censored. Ferocious is the word to use as the friends die in some of the most gruesome ways imaginable. Prosthetic make up designer Roger Murray and his crew deserve almost as much credit as anyone, as his handiwork will probably be the most talked 'parts' of the film. When the violence hits it hits hard!

   
There isn't much more to say about EVIL DEAD 2013. It's a well made balls to the wall horror film that stands on it own. Does it match the original? No, but hopefuly it will introduce new fans to the series. It also gives hope to us horror fans that a remake can actually not suck balls.

THE MARINE 3: HOMEFRONT

Upon walking into Best Buy a few days ago I noticed there was apparently a third MARINE movie from WWE. I haven't watched wrestlin' for quite some time and I had no idea who the hell was on the front cover. When I turned the blu-ray box over I could have died...Scott Wiper was director. This might not mean anything to most people, but Wiper wrote, directed, and stared in what I consider to be a criminally underrated movie from 2000 called A BETTER WAY TO DIE. His output basically ceased until 2007 when he directed WWE superstar Steve Austin in THE CONDEMNED.



And then he disappeared again. While I don't know if this is due to underwhelming box office returns or not, Wiper is a man who needs to be behind the camera more.

THE MARINE 3 stars Mike "The Miz" Mizanin as, you guessed it, a Marine. He's on a two week leave and decides to visit come home and visit his sisters. When a terrorist(Neal McDonough) kidnaps his younger sister, Uber-Marine springs into action to save the day.

What Neal NcDonough really thinks about  THE LAST EXORCISM.

If you can get past how generic this series of films are, HOMEFRONT is a damn good film. Actually it is way better than it should be. The cast and crew seemingly forgot they were doing the third film in a direct to video series, and made something that is on par with the original. Given they didn't have to aim high, but the film delivers more in the acting department than what it should. Neal McDonough can do no wrong, and surprisingly "The Miz" is pretty damned good. What I didn't understand is not utilizing the always reliable Darren Shahlavi, but I'll take what I can get. 

Most importantly the action delivers. The boat raid is the highlight with a team of FBI agents getting mowed down by McDonough's militia. The Miz also gets to show his on screen fighting skills by going one on one with Shalavi. More action would have been appreciated, but instead of loading up the film with mediocre fights and gun play  Wiper and co-writer Declan O'Brien go for quality over quantity.

While HOMEFRONT isn't Wiper's best, it is a good flick. The story keeps you interested, mostly in part to the great cast. When the action does kick in, it is top notch, especially for a film with such a low budget. Entertain is the name of the game and THE MARINE 3 does just that.